Stress Management

Lots of people and especially business owners report having a lot of stress. And I often get asked for help dealing with stress management. Stress is clearly a major problem that needs to be addressed. Like anything, the best way to start doing that is to understand the problem.

Firstly, stress is often confused with pressure but they’re not the same thing. Pressure comes from external factors, such as deadlines or work standards; it’s manageable and should improve performance.

Stress, on the other hand, is an internal physical reaction in your body that happens whenever you feel overwhelmed or out of control. It usually leads to low performance.

It triggers the “fight or flight” response in your body, which does a variety of things to give you the best chance of running away or winning the fight. Your body prioritises the heart and muscles and “turns off” most of your higher brain function and digestive system.

Think about the biology of stress, and you’ll understand why it’s become such a problem. Historically, stress would have come from things like fire and bears. It would have been infrequent and lasted a few minutes at most.

Now, stress is triggered daily and lasts for hours at a time. Having your higher brain functions and your digestive system shut down for hours while your heart works overtime leads to lots of health issues.

Luckily, there’s plenty you can do to manage stress.

1. Take responsibility

First, realise that it’s your life, your body, your choice and therefore your responsibility. Don’t give away the power to decide how you feel.

Remember that feeling a lack of control is a major contributor to stress. Decide to do something about your stress, no matter how out of your control your sources of stress feel.

2. Prioritise

Next you need to make sure you’re prioritising the right things. I’d recommend starting with this list.

1. Yourself
2. Your Health
3. Friends & Family
4. Business or Career
5. Money

Always take care of yourself first. You can’t do much else otherwise. It’s the first thing you learn in First Aid Training: make sure that you are safe, as you cannot help anyone else if you’re in distress yourself.

Notice that money comes last.

Money is often a major source of stress; I know it’s easier said than done but putting money last is a gamechanger. Once you have everything else in place, making money will seem much easier and less stressful.

Prioritising is all about making sure your days don’t run away with you. Don’t prioritise what’s on your schedule; schedule your priorities.

3. Focus on what you can control

A lot of stress comes from trying to control things you just can’t control. You can’t control the weather, Brexit, the economy, what others think of you, or much of anything really. Trying to do that will drive you mad. What you can always control is yourself, your thoughts, and your actions. You can’t control the things around you, but you can control how you react to them.

Accepting that as a truth will relieve a lot of stress. See my blog posts How to let go of Control and How to take back Control to find out more about how to do this.

4. Get good at time management

This is something I’ve talked about a length, because it’s very important. Check out some of my blog posts on the subject (15 Ways to manage your time wisely and How to get more Hours in the Day). Here are the main points:

1. Don’t overcommit.
2. Learn to say no.
3. Switch of notifications.
4. Have a diary and stick to it.

You can always get more money. You can never get more minutes. Time is your most precious commodity. Value it accordingly and spend it wisely.

5. Build a good support system

This is not only for stress management but also general happiness. It’s well known that people with a well-developed support network are happier, healthier, and live longer. You don’t need 100s of people, just the right people. People you can call on for support and advice whenever you need it.

Notice that friends and family are high on your list of priorities. Give those people time and attention. But make sure they return that time and attention and it’s a two-way relationship, because one-way relationships are a source of stress.

6. Take a break

When you’re experiencing stress, it’s easy to get buried trying to dig yourself out. Often what you need is to take a step sideways. Make time for exercise and time to relax. Get outside. Go for a walk in the woods. Ride your bike. Read a book. These are all great stress-relieving activities.

Also, eat healthily. Be wary of drink, smoking and other drugs. Many of them will seem like they relieve stress but they’re making it worse in the long-term.

Read my blog post Take a Break for more tips on what to do and why.

7. Stay positive

There’s this idea that venting is good for you, but actually negative words and actions reinforce negative feelings. Of course, that means positive words and actions reinforce positive feelings. You can see this for yourself by faking a smile or a laugh. After a little while, the smile or the laugh becomes real, and you’ll feel better.

Positive thinking will take you a lot further and let you accomplish much more than negativity will. That doesn’t mean you should walk with your head in the cloud and not see the hole in front of you. Rather it means walking with your head held high, seeing the hole in advance and planning a route around it. Always focus on the opportunities, rather than the challenges, and you will feel a lot less stressed.