How to be mentally resilient

There has been a lot of talk about resilience over the last few months and it’s not surprising; collectively we have gone through some very hard times, been asked to do difficult things or forced to close our businesses. So, here’s how to be mentally resilient, by having a toolkit of resilience that you can draw on when needed.

1. Acceptance

The tool in your resilience toolkit is to be able to accept that bad things happen. We also need to accept that bad things happen to good people; but they really are just things that happen. Accepting this and understanding that you simply need to find ways through them, is much easier than trying to find a reason for why something bad has happened to you. Trying to find someone to blame or becoming a victim can often take far more energy. 

Of course, while bad things happen to all of us at times, you can try and avoid them by looking after your health, your money and your business.  But even if you take steps to protect yourself or do everything you might consider ‘right’, you can still experience bad things.

2. Self-belief

Resilient people don’t have super powers, but they do believe in their own abilities to cope no matter what. If you are reading this, then you are alive and have undoubtedly gone through tough times. Believing you can do it again is part of being resilient.

A way to cultivate this belief is to remember the difficult times you have already been through. What did you do to get through it? Who helped you and what have you learned from that? Can you apply any of this to the new situation?

3. Support

Having a good support system is essential for bouncing back. What’s more, that support system is something you are in control of as you get to choose who they are. By creating your own support system, you also become part of other people’s; realising the value of your family, friends and business connections will help make your support system stronger.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help – most of the time people are more than happy to help, even if they didn’t offer it without asking. Remember: they are not mind readers. 

4. Helping others

When you only focus on your own problems and think how bad things are, it can be truly overwhelming. However, by helping others, it can actually put your own problems into perspective. The very act of helping can also make you feel good; a feeling which is likely to help boost your creativity and help you find solutions to your own problems. It’s a true win-win situation.

Being helpful to others means you will also get help back when you need it; put your own good deeds into the pot and you will be able to take from it as and when you need.  

However, it’s important you don’t assume this help will come in a straight, like-for-like swap. In fact, if you expect help from the people who you have supported, you could be disappointed. They might not always be able to help you back – but there will be someone who can.

5. Small steps

Breaking a problem or situation down into smaller steps is the only way to feasibly find a way through. Neither you or I can find a solution to this pandemic, but we can and should focus on the small things we can control or those people we can help. Doing this will make us feel better. It also contributes to a wider chain of solutions which improves the overall, wider situation. 

Breaking a problem down is the best way to start. Whether it’s just you facing this problem alone, or there are others with you, always ask yourself: “What can I do?” In fact, doing rather than just thinking or talking, is powerful as you are taking action. You cannot think or talk a problem away – but you can take action to lessen its negative impact on your life.

6. Gratitude

Look at all the things you have and be grateful for that. Whether it’s health, family, friends, a good job, a home or just that you’re alive. There will always be things you have that other people want and vice versa. While it is perfectly natural to be sad about the things you have lost or have less of, it really can help to focus on what remains in your life. 

So, what skills do you have? What can you do? What can you achieve? What do you have? 

This positive mindset isn’t about willing things to happen. It actually expands your brain helping you to see the creative opportunities and find the solutions that will help you make things happen. After all, you can only take positive steps when you are feeling positive.

All of these things will help build and develop your resilience.  While no one truly knows what is around the corner, by being resilient, we can continue to find our way through tough times and help others through theirs.